Ah, what a beautiful season. Everybody sharing and giving freely, looking out for one another and seeking nothing in return. But then the sound of "No, mine!" rings through the air. Back to the real world.
Preschoolers are still very egocentric, though less so than toddlers. They are capable of thinking about others and considering others' feelings, more than when they were toddlers, but they still mostly think the world revolves around them. This time of year, especially, we want our children to be giving, but that isn't always easy for the youngest ones. Here are some ideas to get your children to give...and actually want to do it!
Preschoolers are still very egocentric, though less so than toddlers. They are capable of thinking about others and considering others' feelings, more than when they were toddlers, but they still mostly think the world revolves around them. This time of year, especially, we want our children to be giving, but that isn't always easy for the youngest ones. Here are some ideas to get your children to give...and actually want to do it!
* Keep it local. Young kids can't understand when they're donating a toy that it will go to a child in need that they'll likely never see; it's too abstract a situation for them. Let them start smaller. Help an elderly neighborhood, deliver a card to someone who could use a smile, bake cookies for the mailman. When they see the impact they're making, they'll be more likely to want to do it again.
* Put them in charge. Preschoolers like to feel in control. Letting your child help pick out food and then bringing it to a food bank together will help make the connection of who he's helping and also make him feel ownership of the deed.
* Start small. If you want them to donate some old toys, start with one or two things instead of a whole bunch of toys, which may be overwhelming. Sometimes giving to a baby is a good incentive, so start with any baby toys or books you have lying around.
* Use books to start a conversation about helping others and people who don't have as much as your child might. [Affiliate link] "Have You Filled A Bucket Today" by Carol McCloud is one place to begin and Pennies of Time has a list of other books to get your started.
* Start small. If you want them to donate some old toys, start with one or two things instead of a whole bunch of toys, which may be overwhelming. Sometimes giving to a baby is a good incentive, so start with any baby toys or books you have lying around.
* Use books to start a conversation about helping others and people who don't have as much as your child might. [Affiliate link] "Have You Filled A Bucket Today" by Carol McCloud is one place to begin and Pennies of Time has a list of other books to get your started.
What other moms say...
*Sheila of Pennies of Time suggests, "Start with something she likes to do and show a need for her help . . . does she like animals? Gather up old towels, newspapers and make a donation while visiting an animal shelter--while there, tour the facility and talk about why animals need help."
Sheila also wrote a great guest post about a random act of kindness for their lucky neighbors. In fact, Sheila's whole site, Pennies of Time, is about helping others; a great resource!
*Erica at What Do We Do All Day uses tzedakah boxes with her children. They drop in spare change and then donate the money. While a Jewish tradition, it could be used for any family who wanted to emphasize giving.
*Heather of It's A Long Story : "We talk about how there are kids that don't have any toys or books or food, etc... It's still hard for her, but she wants to be a good helper, so that tends to get us through (she's 4 1/2)."
*Allison of the House of Hendrix: "I frequently expose my kids to other kids who don't have toys, beds, clothes, etc, and seeing actual peers with needs makes them want to help them. It becomes their idea."
*Sarah of Little Bins for Little Hands - "We just constantly talk about it and he has started offering to give toys that he doesn't use much anymore. We actually started with a lot of his baby things since he knew they were for much younger kids."
Sheila also wrote a great guest post about a random act of kindness for their lucky neighbors. In fact, Sheila's whole site, Pennies of Time, is about helping others; a great resource!
*Erica at What Do We Do All Day uses tzedakah boxes with her children. They drop in spare change and then donate the money. While a Jewish tradition, it could be used for any family who wanted to emphasize giving.
*Heather of It's A Long Story : "We talk about how there are kids that don't have any toys or books or food, etc... It's still hard for her, but she wants to be a good helper, so that tends to get us through (she's 4 1/2)."
*Allison of the House of Hendrix: "I frequently expose my kids to other kids who don't have toys, beds, clothes, etc, and seeing actual peers with needs makes them want to help them. It becomes their idea."
*Sarah of Little Bins for Little Hands - "We just constantly talk about it and he has started offering to give toys that he doesn't use much anymore. We actually started with a lot of his baby things since he knew they were for much younger kids."
I think my main mistake was trying to have her choose toys for a child of the same age. The Salvation Army does their Angel Tree, where you pick a tag with the age and gender of a child and a few things they would like. I thought it would be fun to have her buy something for another girl her age. Um, not a chance. It just made her jealous, even when the things we were going to give had no real interest to her.
As for us, we're taking it one step at a time, repeating the importance of sharing what we have and helping others, but not forcing it on her. And we had a success - we made cookies and she (begrudgingly) agreed to wrap some up to send to the neighbors. We brought them over together and left them on their porches, talking about how this treat would make the neighbors happy, would make them smile. As we walked home, I heard her repeat to herself, "I made 2 people happy." Success!
As for us, we're taking it one step at a time, repeating the importance of sharing what we have and helping others, but not forcing it on her. And we had a success - we made cookies and she (begrudgingly) agreed to wrap some up to send to the neighbors. We brought them over together and left them on their porches, talking about how this treat would make the neighbors happy, would make them smile. As we walked home, I heard her repeat to herself, "I made 2 people happy." Success!
