Helping Little Ones "Pet the Doggie"

   There is a woman walking her two dogs. Your little one sees the dogs and wants to run over and pet them, but one of the dogs starts to bark and leap up.  What do you do?  
  Or, perhaps your child sees the dogs and shrieks in fear and runs away.  The dog, hearing shrieking, starts to bark and lunge making your child even more afraid.  Now what?  Dogs and children are a big part of our lives, but unfortunately they do not always mix well.  
  Perhaps your child has been traumatized by a loud or aggressive dog in the past and now has fear issues. Then meets a dog who is also dealing with fear issues....these are difficult things to deal with.
  For a child with fear of dog issues, I recommend therapy dogs.  There are therapy dog associations you can contact that can work with your child to overcome their fears.  If this fear is left unattended, it can be debilitating and can strike them at any time.  You never know when you are going to see a dog!  
  One time I went for a hike on a very popular trail where dogs were often off leash and let my little Pomeranian go off leash as well.  Up the trail a little ways I saw a whole family all of a sudden surround a young boy of around 7 who was screaming in fear.  His sister came to tell me he was afraid of my dog, and I felt so bad for the boy, I held my dog to my body away from him so he couldn't see her as I passed.  My heart went out to him, what a thing to live with!

  Okay, so fears aside, little children usually love dogs, and more often than not want to pet them.  What are some good guidelines for children to follow when approaching a dog they don't know?

             1. Ask if they are allowed to pet the dog.

             2. Crouch down low in a squat position. This is an unassuming and almost playful body posture to a dog.  It is open and inviting to them.

            3. Put your hand out palm up, and then pet the side of the neck and shoulder, maybe in a rub or scratch rather than a pat.  Patting means taking the hand off the animal, and done repeatedly is similar to a hitting motion, which might make a dog wary.

  Dogs take their cues for safety and well being from their owners and people's body language around them.  If their people are confident, they will feel safe and confident also.  Young children are exactly the same.  They watch Mom and Dad, and do as they do, trust who they trust.  If Mom wants someone to have her little one's trust, she must first model that she is okay with this other person, and trust them herself.

  Therefore, when your little one wants to pet a dog, model all of these three steps first.  Get down in a squat too, put your hand out, pet the side of the neck and shoulder, and your child will do as you do.  If they don't get it quite right, you are right there to correct them and show them.  You are in control of your child.  This will make the dog feel confident in the situation where he might feel unsure of the child, because let's face it, children can be a little unpredictable at times.  It is precisely that which makes a lot of dogs nervous around them.  'One minute the kid wants to pet me, the next he is pulling my fur and poking my eyes!!'

Now I will go over a few DON'T DO'S.

    1. Never walk or run up to a dog staring it straight in the eyes. This is aggressive body language to a dog. The dog may be passive, or may become afraid and then aggressive.

    2. Never try and pet a dog on the top of the head.  This is a hard habit to break, and most people, kids and adults, will automatically try to do this.  Unfortunately about 90% of dogs do not like this.  At the least they will try and avoid your hand, at worst they could try and bite it.  Basically by putting your hand on his head you are posturing dominance, and the dog is forced to look at you and think, do I want to submit, or challenge?  During a friendly hello, this is not your intended message.

    3. Either pet, or don't pet, but don't timidly put a hand out and then pull it away in fear.  If the dog is mature it might just ignore this behavior, if the dog is young and unsure he might become agitated, making the person's fear worse as well.

   How do we know which dog to approach?  Well, little kids are pretty candid and spontaneous creatures that expand all our limits as they explore theirs, and will ask anybody and everybody without prejudice.  That's great, and hopefully all the dog owners they encounter will be responsible and attentive ones, and all their experiences will be good ones.  Though if they follow those three body language rules, crouch down, don't stare into an animals eyes (you can look in their eyes, just be sure not to stare), and pet on the neck with a rub or scratch, all should be well.

  Of course, the best way to have your little ones know how to relate to dogs is to get a puppy, and let them grow up together! :)  We got an Australian Shepherd puppy when our baby was 13 months old with just this intention in mind.  One time in the dog park our little tike (at 18 months old) had a conversation with a Shiba Inu, 'woo woo'ing' back and forth with her as she tried to figure out what this tiny human was about.  Then he got down on his stomach (to be passive like a dog would be) so the Shiba would approach him without feeling threatened.  It was quite something to watch!  Though, I do warn you, we all know babies learn by copying, and well....my toddler often behaves like a dog :D  You can read about my doggie toddler woes in my blog article. 

   Happy Tails!